Know yourself

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Question

So the last few weeks have been interesting, to say the least. All around the world people have come together to make great change and unite for a single cause, and although it means keeping your distance from family, friends, and co-workers, most spouses found themselves face to face for a few weeks (depending on which country your in any way), and this has made them either re-spark their interested in each other or a lot of cases spur a bit of anger and frustration amongst each other. Hubby can no longer claim he has no time to tick of the evergrowing list wifey has made up and wifey had to implement a few changes too. So this has led me to think, how well do you know yourself? And, do you know how to control, disarm, and de-stress yourself?

Easy right?

To some, it might sound like an easy question right? Whether they are just ignorant or cocky, or maybe they do invest a lot of time into their own mental and emotional well-being, and they probably do find it to be an easy question. Even if you do, have you ever come to face the type and the scale of the current challenge we find ourselves in?.  Especially as protectors in an active field, we tend to witness and endure some things we do not wish to talk about and humanity, in general, is not supposed to be imposing on each other. Early on you get taught to not attach yourself emotionally to any client, victim, or perpetrator. But, as protectors, that is just not always possible, as we feel duty-bound to care, and for that reason sometimes unintentionally find ourselves attached to some situation. And until that situation has been resolved, we rarely find true peace.

More questions

So again, I want to bring another question to you. Have you ever taken the time to sit with yourself and run over a little assessment on yourself for a change? How great is the risk on yourself, both mentally, physically, and emotionally? And what if one of these underlying stressors jump out one day at the wrong time, under the correct circumstance? Say for instance in a supermarket, an argument with a family member or as mentioned above, in the instance of a lock-down where you can not run and hide from facing your spouse or children?

Many a man/woman have ruined their lives because they have lost control, even for just a second or two. Learning to control our own emotions is something that we seem to have lost during the recent generations. And in the times we find ourselves in nowadays, we must regain control.

It's the challenge we all face

What makes this challenging is that even when you can control your emotions during a challenging situation and act rationally, others will not see it the same way, and ultimately might blame you for any negative outcome. Think of a policeman for a second. At some point in his/her career, he/she will be faced with a decision, such as having to take a young man's life, perhaps even the same age as his child. If he does take the shot, he will save the lives of many, and if he does not take the shot, well who knows how many innocent lives could be lost, especially if it involves explosives or other lethal weapons. Sounds simple in words, doesn't it? Well place yourself in his shoes for a second and imagine that young man is your son? Would you be able to pull the trigger?

Will it impact you?

For some people, it seems obvious, but being behind the trigger in that scenario can and will have a lasting psychological effect. Sometimes, as protectors, we have to do things or see things that are not supposed to be happening in the first place. This can be dreadful for some. As we are sworn to protect, we do not wish to harm anyone for no meaningful reason, unless we truly have to.

Your challenge:

So I want to challenge you today to take some time during this chaotic and emotional shift that is happening in the world and asses your strengths and weaknesses and develop a plan to make sure you do not crack under the pressure. You will find a great deal changes once you gain control of your emotional state and start to perform at your maximum. And yes, it will possibly push you to make challenging decisions, but in the long run, it would most definitely be of great value to you. Reach out to that position you always wanted, talk to more people, and put yourself out there and expand your capabilities. And, if you need to, reach out to others and take your problems by the horn and pin that pain in the arse to the ground! Set yourself up to attack life head-on as soon as this pandemic eases down.

If you'd like, find some questions here and see how you can make a change in yourself today.

I salute you all, and I commend you for the great change you bring every day. Even if you do not see it, you are making things better, and what an honor it is to serve those who need protection!

“You look, but you don’t see”

Awareness

"You look, but you don't see"

So with the recent increase in armed robberies in my little home-town (About 2km wide and 3km long), many people have been making statements like: "they never saw it coming", "It happened so fast", "there was nothing I could do" or questions like: "How are we supposed to feel safe?" or, "how will you ever see something going on inside a premise/shop unless you just walk into it and realize its too late now?"....

While these are good questions and valid statements, it just emphasis on me the importance of awareness and continuous training. What makes this subject so difficult, is the fact that it is neglected so much, especially by civilian life. Most people simply continue with their everyday routines not giving even a brief thought to observing their surroundings and relating to themselves the possible risks and threats that are constantly around them. And what is more tricky to training awareness is that while your reading this post, you probably already started thinking and looking around you to see what I was talking about. This sub-conscious thinking forces your brain to look for specific details that you mentally picture it to see. But, being in this state of mind constantly is where the trick comes in. I bet not even 30 minutes from reading this post, you will most probably neglect to see the same threats you just saw. That does not imply that something is wrong with you, that's just how our brains work.

Think about it

Years ago I met an ex SAS operator and special forces instructor who now spends time training executive protection details. What was interesting to me, is that this seemingly calm man never carries a firearm in any detail anymore. That was impressive to me until he started drilling the next phrase into our minds: "You look, but you don't see". Then I realized, he was able to do that by simply observing and mentally picturing a set of outcomes, based on what he can not only see but perceive to be, realistically of course. Then he could most probably keep an attack from happening, by simply not giving it the power to happen. Reaching such a level of awareness and knowing you don't need a weapon to be powerful, is quite humbling.

But how was he able to do that?

Think of the following scenario which is quite common in the protection industry, military, and law enforcement environments:

A well-dressed man, with no obvious signs of aggression, even a smile on his face, walks up to a police officer. This may seem normal right? Now, from a trained officer's mind, there are lots of things happening, for instance: Who is this man? Did he identify himself? Why are his eyes red? Why would he have one hand in his pocket? Are that bloodstains on his sleeves? And why would a man dressed like him be in a place like this, which seems to be out of order for a man so well dressed?.... Do you see it yet? This elaboration is still simple to see right?. Yet so many things happen all around us that are completely out of place and most of us miss it completely! I'm certainly not saying everyone and everything is a threat, but everyone and everything should be questioned! And constantly as well! With such a huge lack of emotional intelligence in society today, anyone can simply "snap" and whoever is at the wrong place at the right time, will be the one to face the full blow of it!

Coming back to a scenario that occurred in my home town, how could you possibly know that something is wrong inside a shop or premises that you wish to enter? It's simple to me, I never go around sharp corners - I make sure there is enough space for me to jump back behind cover if need be. And, as far as I can, I take a brief moment to observe the parking space of any premises I approach. Is any vehicle strangely parked? Heck maybe someone is outside the door with a shotgun in hand?. Even if the parking seems safe, another brief moment just before I enter the door helps to let me see inside, and again give me those precious seconds I need to get out of there. Is this realistic for everyone and every situation? No, of course not. But I have a lot more training than most people, I know what to look for and how to read the signs.

As I sit here and write this piece, I start to wish there was an easier way to transfer the knowledge of awareness, but it simply cannot be taken that lightly. I mean, even scriptures teach of awareness! So clearly it must be something important right?

How to start using awareness:

First of all, its something you have to go into a deep understanding of if you want to be able to use it effectively. What I mean by that, is that you have to look at everyday things into more detail and understand what they can be telling you. When you drive down the street towards your home for example:

  • how many cars can you see?
  • What are the colors?
  • Are the license plate numbers relevant to your geographical location?
  • Are there occupants sitting in any of the cars?
  • Are any of the trees leaning, indicating that it might fall over at any moment?
  • Are there any small children playing dangerously close to the street?
  • What about flying balls in the neighborhood?
  • If you walk up to a door, are there any signs of intrusion?
  • Is anyone around you acting strangely?
  • Is someone dressed incorrectly for the current weather?

This list can go on and on and on! The principle stays the same, what or who is out of place? So you need to know how to identify that, and if you cant, then you need to learn how. I certainly do not wish to instill paranoia under anyone, and I have met many clients who seem to be living in paranoia, they think gang members come running down the street when a car back-fires 2 blocks down, or they assume someone is going to be breaching their home when the electricity unexpectedly turns off! This is paranoia, simply coming to terms with what you can control, identifying what you need to give attention to, and then training your mind how to do it key to awareness. You don't need to be able to count the number of people around you or be able to identify someone by the color of their skin tone or hair-color a few days after you walked past them in a grocery store. That way of thinking will have you burnt out by halfway through the day! Instead, look for key indicators!

President John F Kennedy once said - "It is an unfortunate fact that we can secure peace only by preparing for war". So go out there and prepare your mind for war. I will be posting some more awareness training advice soon.

For more reading on awareness follow this link: https://bigthink.com/artful-choice/dont-just-see-observe-what-sherlock-holmes-can-teach-us-about-mindful-decisions

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